A few more hrs and this week will be "officially" over! Phew, the weekend is finally here.

Quotes of the week:-

• "Bad news guys! I've left the keys of the gate in Captain's car and the landlady has locked it!"
• "Sorry Jimmy, I thought it was my phone. Will come and give it as soon as i'm back in Chandigarh" (not S's fault actually, we both use an 1100)
• "Jimmy-a chu i ngaihawm dawn hle mai", said Fela, the night before he left for Delhi. Jimmy,
• you'll be really missed!
• "Why are you leaving this place?"
• "Uncle ka mood kharab hoga, varna aunty to aapko apne beta jaisa dekhti hain!" said my maid. Uncle (landlord) must be in a bad mood, that's why - Aunty sees you as her own son - (Don't kid me lady!)

List of things to do this weekend:-

1. Get a hair cut (first priority)
2. Go with Captain to the construction site where he's getting some work done
3. Ask landlady if Uncle Really wants me to leave
4. If landlady (Aunty) says Uncle really meant it, then "Things to do" No. 2 is scrapped!

Been limping the whole week 'cause of a minor fracture. My feet have been hurting like hell. I'm going to drink the pain away with Cap'n and R at Aerizzona.

The Last Ride Together

Cap'n asked me to search for this poem last Weekend. Well, we read it aloud (with some guests around :P )

Cap'n told me that it was written by some *Robert*
Robert Browning - (1812–1889), it turned out to be!

Yep! 'twas written a long time ago!

I finally concluded with Cap'n that we aren't good in *PURE* English!

BTW, this poem talks about the "last ride" that the poet wishes to have (with his Woman) before it's "time to go" for him (Cap'n told me that the poet is dying!)
-----------------------------------

*COPIED AND "shamelessly" PASTED*

-----------------------------------

I SAID—Then, dearest, since ’tis so,
Since now at length my fate I know,
Since nothing all my love avails,
Since all, my life seem’d meant for, fails,

Since this was written and needs must be— 5
My whole heart rises up to bless
Your name in pride and thankfulness!
Take back the hope you gave,—I claim
Only a memory of the same,
—And this beside, if you will not blame; 10
Your leave for one more last ride with me.

My mistress bent that brow of hers,
Those deep dark eyes where pride demurs
When pity would be softening through,
Fix’d me a breathing-while or two 15
With life or death in the balance: right!
The blood replenish’d me again;
My last thought was at least not vain:
I and my mistress, side by side
Shall be together, breathe and ride, 20
So, one day more am I deified.
Who knows but the world may end to-night?

Hush! if you saw some western cloud
All billowy-bosom’d, over-bow’d
By many benedictions—sun’s 25
And moon’s and evening-star’s at once—
And so, you, looking and loving best,
Conscious grew, your passion drew
Cloud, sunset, moonrise, star-shine too,
Down on you, near and yet more near, 30
Till flesh must fade for heaven was here!—
Thus learnt she and linger’d—joy and fear!
Thus lay she a moment on my breast.

Then we began to ride. My soul
Smooth’d itself out, a long-cramp’d scroll 35
Freshening and fluttering in the wind.
Past hopes already lay behind.
What need to strive with a life awry?
Had I said that, had I done this,
So might I gain, so might I miss. 40
Might she have loved me? just as well
She might have hated, who can tell!
Where had I been now if the worst befell?
And here we are riding, she and I.

Fail I alone, in words and deeds? 45
Why, all men strive and who succeeds?
We rode; it seem’d my spirit flew,
Saw other regions, cities new,
As the world rush’d by on either side.
I thought,—All labour, yet no less 50
Bear up beneath their unsuccess.
Look at the end of work, contrast
The petty done, the undone vast,
This present of theirs with the hopeful past!
I hoped she would love me; here we ride. 55

What hand and brain went ever pair’d?
What heart alike conceived and dared?
What act proved all its thought had been?
What will but felt the fleshly screen?
We ride and I see her bosom heave. 60
There’s many a crown for who can reach.
Ten lines, a statesman’s life in each!
The flag stuck on a heap of bones,
A soldier’s doing! what atones?
They scratch his name on the Abbey-stones. 65
My riding is better, by their leave.

What does it all mean, poet? Well,
Your brains beat into rhythm, you tell
What we felt only; you express’d
You hold things beautiful the best, 70
And pace them in rhyme so, side by side.
’Tis something, nay ’tis much: but then,
Have you yourself what’s best for men?
Are you—poor, sick, old ere your time—
Nearer one whit your own sublime 75
Than we who never have turn’d a rhyme?
Sing, riding’s a joy! For me, I ride.

And you, great sculptor—so, you gave
A score of years to Art, her slave,
And that’s your Venus, whence we turn 80
To yonder girl that fords the burn!
You acquiesce, and shall I repine?
What, man of music, you grown gray
With notes and nothing else to say,
Is this your sole praise from a friend, 85
‘Greatly his opera’s strains intend,
Put in music we know how fashions end!’
I gave my youth: but we ride, in fine.

Who knows what’s fit for us? Had fate
Proposed bliss here should sublimate 90
My being—had I sign’d the bond—
Still one must lead some life beyond,
Have a bliss to die with, dim-descried.
This foot once planted on the goal,
This glory-garland round my soul, 95
Could I descry such? Try and test!
I sink back shuddering from the quest
Earth being so good, would heaven seem best?
Now, heaven and she are beyond this ride.

And yet—she has not spoke so long! 100
What if heaven be that, fair and strong
At life’s best, with our eyes upturn’d
Whither life’s flower is first discern’d,
We, fix’d so, ever should so abide?
What if we still ride on, we two 105
With life for ever old yet new,
Changed not in kind but in degree,
The instant made eternity,—
And heaven just prove that I and she
Ride, ride together, for ever ride?

Will Power

Happened to read this today. Hilarious!

It's good to have a weak will power, it keeps the hope alive...

Life never stops

However philosophical you may get, but (and oh! what a bit but) always take chances while you can and always should.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall

"Ok! can you look at yourself in the mirror and say that you don't LIE and that you don't PRETEND?"

Copied this quote from Rupen actually! Thanks Rupen :o)

Katie "Holmes"

We met in a restaurant around dinner time. 'twas the place and time when/where you had those "Poona University" students stop by to grab their "non-homemade" dinner. As usual, I ended up placing an order for "Pomfret Fish".

As I savoured the fish and rice, SHE gave a hungry and helpless obligatory "meow".

That was Katie. A tiny, skinny, and orphan kitten. I looked at her, and gave that "oh! so cute!" smile. Finally, I smeared some pieces of the fish with my fingers and dropped them on the floor. As with all cats, she gave those casual meows as she ate, probably appreciating my gesture, and savouring the food. She was trying her best to chew the fish and I knew that she didn't have any teeth, but I guess the hunger took over. As I finished my dinner, I saw her sitting by my chair and my benevolence and instinct took over. Yes, I took her home with me.

Here's Katie playing with a "brown-colored" grasshopper :o)

She was with me for about 4 months-till the day I left Poona.

I'm not in Poona anymore, but I've been told that she still gives that shrill :meow: :meow: whenever she hears the sound of my room's door opening. :o(
I never thought that i'd love or for that matter, "like" a cat!

Hope she's doing well.

But a question still lingers, "Why was I scared to take her with me when I left Poona?"

Miss you Katie! :o)

My first MTV video

Out of a sudden desire, decided to watch the Don't Cry music video that I had purchased some three/four years back when I was in Mizoram. It was nostalgia at its best, as Don't Cry was the first music video that I got to watch on MTV and I can vouch for the fact that Guns n Roses were a band that made many of my (non-North Eastern) friends love rock n roll or for that matter, Heavy Metal.

Before MTV, I know most of my "non-North Eastern" friends, here in Delhi knew three bands (Umm, let's say artists).

1. Madonna
2. Michael Jackson
3. Wham!

Speaking of nostalgia,

1. What song/video makes you nostalgic?
2. What was the first video that you saw on MTV?

Political lessons

Our politician is nearing his retirement age and proudly feels that he has told his dear son the tricks of the trade. But then there still is this final lesson his son must learn.

So our politician asks his son to climb to the terrace. Son reaches the terrace, looks down at his father with a curious look.

"Now what?" he thinks

To the son's surprise, Father asks him to jump from the terrace.

"Bapu! are you crazy?"
"Just jump! don't you trust your own father? Don't you know what I'm doing?"
"Bapu! I'm not going to do this. This is too much!"
"If you don't jump, the ticket for that constituency isn't yours. PERIOD! And do you think that I won't help if anything happens to you?"

Son thinks, lifts himself and takes the plunge.
Politician father moves away, lets his son fall on the hard ground.

"Bapu! why did you do that? I trusted you?" son asks

"And you trusted a politician?"

My Blog...

... is screwed up!
Just like my life!

Is that what you wanted to say?

Big Company, an office that looks like a 5-Star hotel, and Coffee similar to the one you get in that so-called "Coffee Day" or "Barrista" joints. I love that Coffee house in Kamla nagar though (Delhi University).

Fresher joins this Big Company. A week passes, a month, and then a quarter. Fresher is "Khool", is intelligent, Boss calls him, "He can really do things and I love the way he charges up people around him". But-and oh! what a big but, he's "stupid" (I still think he was immature...), wears that Hare Rama, Hare Krishna T-shirt, sports a hair longer than Nuno Bettencourt, and oh, he sometimes looked like a BackPacker.

One day, Fresher reaches office, opens the door of his glass house office, presses the button of that elevator, waits, enters the elevator with a serious, executive-looking fellow. Executive-looking fellow presses the button of the elevator, the "Automatic" door of the elevator closes. First Floor, Second Floor, about to reach Third Floor...

Executive-looking fellow looks at our Fresher, his hairdo and finally speaks out.

"Do you work for Me?"

Kasol, Manikaran and villages like Kalga...

Oh well, this happened some 2 weeks back.
"So are we going?", I sms Gaurav at 2 AM
"Yes we are" he replied.
Our plan was to leave at 4 in the morning, so we could pick up Samar on the way, who would be waiting for us in Jalandhar.

I've always liked trips that have an uncertainty surrounding them. So Gaurav gets up at 7 in the morning and calls up.
"Yes, Jimmy have you guys got up?"
"What time is it?"
"Brother! its 7 now, I'm reaching there in another 10 minutes. You guys get ready. Ok?"

Nothing is really far in Chandigarh and well, Gaurav did reach my place within 10 mins.
Nishant and I do our packing (well, kind of :P)

It was a 10 hr drive to Kasol about which I won't talk at length.

Kasol was our first stop-A 10 hour drive from this place. A typical north-indian hill station-hills, rivers, pahadi folks, some fancy hotels promising you an experience of a home away from home. Hey I thought came here to get away?

What struck me most about Kasol was the presense of Israeli hotels and restaurants. Israeli breakfast, Israeli dinner, hotels name Israeli Hotel, and restaurants named Rasta Restarant. Another surprising thing was that most of the billboards were also written in Hebrew.

So we booked a hotel-Deep Forest was the name, cleaned up ourselves (kind of :P) and sat for dinner and drinks on the hotel lounge. I faintly remember that there was this World Cup match being played on the big screen (Tunisia was playing some team :P) and a song called G**nd Mara de was playing on the background-it was in the tune of a Bhajan song.

I surveyed the area and ended up sitting with an Israeli couple who asked me where I came from.
"Mizoram yada yada..."
"Oh Mizoram, isn't that the place where there was this talk about the Manashe tribe?"
"Oh well, that's speculation, not every Mizo believes it though"
"Its funny, you know. We come here to get away from the violence of our country and there are guys in your tribe who wanna go there?"

Next stop- Manikaran and Kalga... :o)

The man who fell asleep

So here's the URL:-

http://www.themanwhofellasleep.com/invisibilia.html

If you're into art, illustration, and photography, do visit this site. What this fellow does is replace people in real-life photographs with illustrations. It may seem like a simple idea, but yes, the results are cool.

Hello, strangers of the internet. This page is a gallery of pictures. The pictures are simple enough: the people in the photos have been digitally removed and replaced with drawings. Yeah, I know: anyone can trace a drawing. But so what? I am doing it, and you're not. You're sitting at home doing nothing. Or maybe you're surfing the web at work. I don't know. I'm not psychic.

Maybe the pictures illustrate the idea that we all want to remove ourselves from life, and replace ourselves with fictional, self-created versions of ourself. We want to fictionalise our own existence, and impose order and narrative where there is none.

:o)

Quentin Tarantino and other geniuses

Watched Kill Bill II for the umpteenth time last night and I wondered why Qeuntin Tarantino has never won an Oscar? I guess he always has had the wrong luck of making films at the same year when sell-able and blockbuster movies are released. Take for example the year when Pulp Fiction was pitted against Forrest Gump? Now that's unlucky.

I guess he will just go down in History as another great director who never won an Oscar. Another genius is Oliver Stone and his trippy movies. His Natural Born Killers is still my all time favorite and Oh! the soundtrack of the movie rocked! The album was produced by none other than another genius-Trent Reznor -the one man band called Nine Inch Nails and a person with whom I proudly share my birthday-17 May.

Here's my favorite part of Kill Bill Vol 2, where Bill shoots the Bride using a dart filled with what he called, the "Infallible Truth Serum".

Bill: As you know......l'm quite keen on comic books. Especially the ones about superheroes. I find the whole mythology surrounding superheroes fascinating.

Take my favorite superhero, Superman.

Not a great comic book. Not particularly well-drawn.
Mmm.
But the mythology...
The mythology is not only great, it is unique.

The Bride: How long does this shit take to go into effect?

Bill: About two minutes. Just long enough for me to finish my point. Now, a staple of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero and there's the alter ego.
Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When that character wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic Superman stands alone.

Superman didn't become Superman. Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S" - that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears - the glasses, the business suit - that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us.

And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak......he's unsure of himself...he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race.
Sorta like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy Plimpton.

You would've worn the costume of Arlene Plimpton. But you were born Beatrix Kiddo. And every morning when you woke up, you'd still be Beatrix Kiddo. Oh, you can... take the needle out.

The Bride: Are you calling me a superhero?

Bill: I'm calling you a killer, A natural born killer.

Now, can anyone better such a thoughtful and intelligent script?

Dreamt of a strange thing last night

Man! I had one of the weirdest dreams last night. Can't recollect much of it, but here are some of the most interesting or memorable part/s
The situation: I was getting married.
No, not to one woman but to three women. And it had to be finished within a day. :p
As I was through with the ceremonies of the first wedding, which happened on the third floor of our house in Rohini, I descended the flight of steps and notice that there was a Bar cum Restaurant on the ground floor. It was quite similar to Rodeo's and I take her to the restarant and the feasts begin.
Oh! she looked beautiful. God only knows why she was wearing a bright red saree when the wedding ceremonies were conducted in christian fashion.
Can't remember much of what happened after that.
Suddenly, the dream transported me to another place. A place as surreal as Dali's paintings. Here I have my second wedding. Can't recollect the face of that woman, but I do remember her bright skin and big blue eyes. Oh, i forgot, she was wearing a burqa and she was very similar to that lady in Lucky Ali's video-can't recollect the song as of now.
As I try to lift her burqa and caress her hair, I have an itch in my neck and "Whoa! wake up Jimmy, you were dreaming." I wake up slowly, and wearily reach for my mobile and notice that it's only three in the morning.
"Some dream that was...", I thought with a smile.
I thought of firing up a cigarette and recollect the wonderful and surreal dream. But then, reality reminded me something.
"There's a client call tomorrow. Try to get some more sleep, you have to reach the office at eight."

Loneliness

Loneliness: a disposition toward being alone. One of the main reasons I left Poona was because the city was killing me. Everyday, I would come back from office, and then a question would hit my head-what next? Wash my clothes? nope, i had a dhobi at hand. Cook? No, I didn't have a kitchen. So what was the easiest way to kill time? "Booze Jimmy, go get a booze" I could hear the little devil on my left shoulder tell me that.

It was so easy to just go out to a cheap pub, pick up a drink and get sloshed out. Or at times, pick up alcohol and when the sense of loneliness hit me, I would end up calling up friends at home, or brothers, and at times calling up my online friends who hardly even knew me. What would I talk about? nothing important, just nonsensical blabber.

Now that I'm in Chandigarh, Delhi is just a 5-hour drive away and with a senior from college being a localite here, it has never been better. A few days back, Cecci was giong back to the US and we had a small discussion on loneliness and how it had it all of us. Cecci started the talk with his 2-year experience in Cyprus. He would talk about how his drinking habit almost killed him and about the time-pass escorts from Morocco and Lebanon. Captain talked about his 1 year stint in Paris where everyone would talk in French and how his french colleagues would suddenly change their posture when he joined them for a cup of coffee.

Could be continued... :D

The Govt. Contract

A, B, and C finally get a break. After building contacts and through the influence of some people, they are awarded a govt contract.
But there's a catch.
ABC's firm-let us now call them govt contractors-will finish the work in 6 months and will give 1/6th of the "govt-sanctioned" money to X, a govt officer, who will then award the contract to A, B, and C's firm.
Work starts and 6 months later, some progress is made.
So, ABC request the govt that a part of the payment be released as some progress has been made and there are salaries and bills to pay.
After a number of visits to X's office and some chit chats over a cup of "Sarkari office" tea, X-the govt officer- finally agrees to release 2/6th of the payment.
One year into the project, ABC's firm is still not paid any extra penny. The firm isn't going anywhere and 'A' decides to pick up a 9 to 5 job, leaves the firm, and tells B and C that he can't go on.
Some 8 months later, A and B meet each other at a friend's wedding.
To his surprise, B tells A that there were no other payments made.
"A, you don't know the number of visits C and I made to X's office. All I can tell you is that X and his secretary took the rest of the unbilled amount, theives!"
Because A and his friends were part of a corrupt deal, they knew they couldn't do anything about it.
So here are some questions:

• Should A, B, and C have agreed to do the project at all?
• Was B right in calling the officer a theif?

Sitting in my cubicle...

Sitting in my cubicle
I realize I have an entry to make
I try to find an inspiration
Or come up with an idea

I know not of what to think
Then it dawned on me
How hard it is
To find ideas for a blog
When you are sitting in the office


That has got to be one of the silliest poems.
Have a wonderful weekend!

Johari Window

Well, this is one tool that Jimmy has never come across. Tool? ok, call it a method if you will. Jimmy is told that it/this is named after its inventors-Joe and Harry. Simple eh?
Turns out that this thing/method/tool is used as a tool to help people or a team-as they say in Jimmy's corporate world-understand each other better.
If you're interested and want to know more, Click here.
So Boss informs the team that he would be explaining this thing/tool/concept in the next Knowledge Sharing session. And so it happened.
Boss comfortably leans back in his chair and proudly opens up the powerpoint presentation on Johari Window. After a lonnnnggg presentation, Boss asks each person attending the session to jot down some questions and write down their answers. Of course, it had to be secret.
So here are the questions:

1. What is your favorite color?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What makes you angry?
4. What makes you sad?
5. What makes you happy?

Each person in the session is asked to guess what the other person might have written. The purpose of the exercise was to make out,"Do you really know the person you're working with?". Jimmy was lucky as usual. He is asked to guess his Boss' answers and well, he gets it all wrong. :(

1. Boss' favorite color? Green and NOT Blue. Jimmy had guessed blue because Boss was wearing a Navy blue shirt that day.
2. Boss' favorite food? Dal Makhani NOT Chicken Manchurian
3. What makes Boss happy? Watching children play and NOT a project delivered on time. "Hmmm, he does have a heart!", Jimmy thinks.
4. What makes Boss sad? Seeing beggars on the road and not Poverty. Jimmy was close.
5. What makes you angry? Inefficienct people and NOT someone unpunctual

After the session, Jimmy thinks if he can get it all correct for, say his girlfriend? all he can do is guess, guess, and make more guesses.

What about you?

Some mails really make or break your day!

My writing/authoring debut happened about three and half years back and this is one incident that happened when one of the books that I had authored was supposed to be shipped to the client.
Believe me, if its a delivery date, Goof-ups are bound to happen!
So here's a portion of the mail I received around four in the afternoon. A mail that really made me wish I wasn't in office!

Jimmy,

You have shown carelessness and immense irresponsibilily in going through the comments and fixes that I have suggested. You have left about 10 comments unfixed. What do you want me to do with these? We have already had two rounds of reviews and this is how you plan to ship the document? I refuse to go through this document.

Regards,
ABC

Of course, this lady had CC'd this mail to my Boss. It still beats me as to why she added "regards".
Before I could explain my reason for not fixing the comments, Boss had already shot a mail!

Guys,

What is happening? We cannot afford such mistakes at this stage. You are all aware that we have to ship the documents today. Please take ownership of your individual documents/books-they have to be ZERO-DEFECT and in PERFECT condition. Jimmy, get in touch with ABC and fix/clarify the comments at the earliest. No one is going home till your documents are ready.

Regards,
Boss

So I go over to ABC's workstation and tell her my reason for not fixing the comments. My explanation? what she had suggested was technically incorrect!
It's a different thing that Boss and me were in the office till One in the Morning!!

I guess I have made some progress over the years and three years and some months later, this is a mail I get from a our client in the US - a lady who has been very supportive.
These are the kind of mails that really make your day!!

Please! I'm not showing off!

Hi Jimmy,

...Are you interested in Editor work? My plan is to have support people for each role. Since you learned the styles so quickly and are such an excellent Writer, I think making you an Assistant Editor makes sense. (I hope the “assistant” does not insult you.).
As a .Net Writer, do you find the Java 4.8 training useful? Is it starting to make sense? I know the whole team appreciates your good work, and no one more than me.

Regards...


If you are in an industry where the activity of conveying information is through mails, mails, and more mails, I guess you'll understand what I mean.

My Childhood friends

My childhood friends. It's almost 11 years since I left that neighborhood and I don't think I'll ever meet them again.
These are names with which their parents/relative lovingly called them. :o)

1. Sonoo: A Xavier-ian, fat kid, and the bully of the neighbourhood. Sometimes it was his gang asking us to leave the badminton court, so they can play or sitting in the corner of the court and deliberately irritating us by making fun of our game or at times refusing to give back our Cricket ball if it fell into his garden. Its a different thing that by 10th grade we were good friends. We once had some of his dad's Scotch during our 10th grade board exams. That was my first taste of alcohol actually.
2. Teetoo: A Xavier-ian, quite dark, and later moved on to IIT-D. The most intelligent amongst us. "The lights of your room were switched ON till 2 AM, what were you studying?"-See what I mean?
3. Kannoo: Another Xavier-ian, skinny kid and not very bright. I remember opening a comics and novel rental store in our garage during our summer holidays. :o)
4. Tikkoo: DIP'site (DPS). Intelligent and a great athlete. I still recall the days when we would run off to Chhatrasal stadium for our tennis games. God! I was obsessed with this game.
5. Tilloo: A Bihari and a Modern'ite (Modern School). On Sundays he would be shouting at the top of his voice with Tikkoo, "Jimmy!! come fast and don't forget to bring the bat and wickets along!!"
6. Cheekoo: Tilloo's younger brother. He was five years younger than all of us. It still puts a smile in my face when I think of him trying to imitate Azhar or say Merv Hughes.
7. Ranju: My schoolmate and my idol at school. I think he was 4 yrs my senior and was the captain of our football team. My only source of Archies and DC comics.
8. Vaibhav: St Columbus kid who helped me out during a science project. I think we called it "Plant water detector".
   
9. Sonoo: The only daughter of a Punjabi family, and 2 years our senior. “Bee-ji says I can’t come out and play. I have to behave and act like a grown up” :o)
10. Binu: The only person I'm in touch with. A friend from school and though he didn't live in our neighborhood, but he'd always come over during weekends for a game of football or say, cricket. Can't believe that we were friends from 3rd grade all the way to 12th.